Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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