OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
time to smoke my breakfast
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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