My brain says no but my pants say off.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
