Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it hurts more in the daytime
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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