I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I showed him my bush... on skype.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
