Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
