I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
