ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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