Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
