apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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