so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
not ubering you a puppy
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize