Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
