Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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