How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I will pee on everything he values.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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