Can Purell be used as lube?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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