So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
