Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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