I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
