Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
