Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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