Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
