All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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