I think I just saw someone hide a body.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
