that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
