He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
