Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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