its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
