They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
