so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
