You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize