party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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