either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
