We're facebook friends in real life
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
