walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
