So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
