You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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