Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
