woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
