Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
