I am puke
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
