he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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