thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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