We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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