Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
How external is "for external use only"?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
