so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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