I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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