Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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