Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
