I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
