I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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