I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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