We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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