real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
