I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Randomize