ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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