oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Drake has all the answers
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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