my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
