Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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