Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
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he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
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"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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