His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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