Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
