yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
