Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
