Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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