Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
