I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
