in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
